( )

"Whenever someone who knows you disappears,
you lose one version of yourself. Yourself
as you were seen, as you were judged to be.
Lover or enemy, mother or friend, those who
know us construct us, and their several knowings
slant the different facets of our characters like
diamond-cutter's tools. Each such loss is a step
leading to the grave, where all versions blend
and end."

The Ground Beneath Her Feet - Salman Rushdie